I was scrolling through Facebook one morning when I came across a post from an entertainer I follow performing on an ocean cruise. Shortly after, I saw another post where a Facebook friend was planning on taking a cruise.

Many folks seem eager to hop on a ship and take to the high seas for rest and relaxation. It’s understandable why. With all the strife and insanity that happens on dry land these days, it seems almost therapeutic to journey out onto the water, where you’re not dealing with road rage, tyrannical bosses, political ugliness or the responsibilities of life. Once you’re out on the water, there’s tranquility.

At least, that’s what they say. I, myself, have never been on one.

However, the craze seems to be catching on with a lot of other folks, according to Dunhill Travel. The data Dunhill provided showed that the number of global cruise passengers reached a record of 34.6 million in 2024, but 2026 is threatening to shoot right past that.

Dunhill noted that cruise-related searches have grown almost 27% in Wisconsin since 2022, putting it near the middle of all 50 states and Washington D.C. Royal Caribbean might want to market in the state, as it was the most searched cruise line by Wisconsinites.

So, why don’t I jump in and see if I can find a cruise with entertainment up the wazoo but still has the option of me boarding up in my cabin to give form to the latest novel I’m working on? It would be quite a vacation for my sweetheart, Todd, who loves traveling with me. When I took him for a 10-day trip to Arizona, his only disappointment was he couldn’t bring a mountain back with him in his suitcase.

Overweight baggage fees are killer on the old bank account.

Oh, I seem to be drifting off topic.

Anyway, there are reasons why an ocean cruise doesn’t appeal to me. For one thing, I’m not the greatest in the big city. Now, before you start saying I’m digressing again, hear me out. In big cities, you’re crammed in with tens of thousands to even millions of other people. There are at least roads out of cities. On the ocean, you’re trapped with strangers—lots and lots of strangers.

You could point out that my previous point about boarding up in my cabin for the entire voyage could mitigate that problem. That’s assuming everything is running smoothly. However, I’ve seen some news reports about cruise ships running into problems on the high seas and then become stranded until rescued.

It’s especially unnerving to think about that in light of what happened in 2020, when a pesky little bug called the coronavirus shut the world down for a period of time. The folks who were enjoying their hard-earned vacations quickly found themselves quarantined on the boats and left there for weeks. Being trapped with hundreds of strangers with no way out? No, thanks. I felt safer settling into my apartment.

While I don’t envision myself ever setting foot on an ocean liner, I wouldn’t rule me out for getting on any boat. After all, I did it multiple times when I was a journalist for a newspaper near Lake Powell. One time, I rode on a final voyage on a paddle wheeler called the Canyon King. It was fun.

The difference was the people count was much lower, and I could see signs of land and civilization on all sides, not just the shoreline on one side. The feeling of helplessness would not be as strong in such a situation.

A river cruise would probably be more my speed. I remember from my childhood reading a book about animals operating a paddle wheeler steamboat along a river in search of adventure. Sadly, I can’t recall the name of the book, and searching the internet without a book title can be an exercise in futility.

What I do remember is wanting to join those animals on the boat and explore. It was weird how seeing all of these recent things about cruise ships triggered that memory for me. Who knows? Maybe I’ll find the book in some used bookstore and really want to hit the water in order to escape this crazy world we live in.

Yes, I’m drifting off topic again. Ironic, isn’t it?

River cruise? I say, all aboard. Ocean cruise? I’ll just be abandoning ship.