I must have missed the memo that Pride month meant we had to stay as far away from the police as possible and that we had to party like it’s 1969.

Singer Sam Smith apparently missed the memo, as well, as they posted a photo on June 26 on Instagram page being flirty with a pair of police officers during New York City’s Pride festival. That’s when the internet had an aneurysm—as if the LGBT community needed another reason to freak out.

Over three days have passed as I’m writing this since they posted the photo, and people have lashed out with angry comments. Here are a few examples:

“Shame on you using your platform as a gay performer to uplift the people who have historically held us down.”

“You used to be my favourite singer and now I’m disgusted by you.”

“It’s not natural.”

“Every time we, as white OR white passing people, see cops at Pride (bc we know they’re being invited by corporate interests mainly to protect property) we should exclusively remind them LOUDLY AND CLEARLY that they DO NOT BELONG HERE. We don’t take cheeky photos with them for the gram.”

“Their job is evil, and they perform their job by choice. This makes them evil.”

Then there was the repeated comment of “No cops at Pride.”

Unfortunately, the members of my “tribe” have not had the best history with the police. New York City was ground zero for one of the biggest incidents of hatred toward homosexuals as the police in 1969 raided the Stonewall Inn, a haven for those who were attracted to members of the same sex. It was nothing new for the LGBT community at that time, but at Stonewall, the community fought back.

What the “tribe” doesn’t seem to realize is that, at that time, homosexuality was not popular in the public eye, and gay bars were illegal. The primary role of law enforcement is to prevent laws from being broken. I certainly agree the policies of the day were unfair, and the gays that frequented the bar had every justification to riot and demand to be treated with a modicum of dignity and respect, but a lot has changed in the past 54 years.

NYPD issued an apology for the Stonewall Riots in 2016. Same-sex relationships are embraced by the majority of people—even Republicans, if you can believe that. Homosexuality is no longer deemed a mental disorder. The FBI no longer keeps lists of known homosexuals. We’re not in an ideal state in society, but things have improved.

I recently was at Open Door Pride in northeast Wisconsin, and the attitude there toward the police was remarkably different. Several officers strolled the grounds, and officials welcomed them with open arms. None of the festival participants gave the cops any grief, and the officers didn’t knock the stuffing out of anyone decked out in rainbow colors or other unusual attire.

Unfortunately, the reason police officers needed to be around in larger numbers at Open Door Pride was that threats had been made against the event. A drag show had to be cancelled, echoing the extreme right-wing assault on anything drag-related because they’re convinced that the performers are going to “indoctrinate” people’s children.

Given that New York City boasts one of the largest Pride fests in the country, it makes sense that officers were at that event, too, to serve as a source of protection. Considering that many in the LGBT community swing more liberal, and they eschew firearms, it behooves us to establish a peace with the individuals that carry the guns. Otherwise, we just depend on the possibility that the folks on our side can pulverize anyone who tries to harm us.

I’m not really big on hoping that ends well.

I can understand fighting back against bigotry and homophobia, but letting hate be a tool will never result in equality. Many police officers support us, so it’s wrong to paint all of them with a broad brush and declaring us vs. them. Many of our brethren have pursued careers in law enforcement, so does that mean we shun them and call them traitors? Way to be evolved, queers.

When police officers do us wrong, we should condemn them. However, there are plenty of good ones out there, and when push comes to shove from the bigots, we’d be wise to make them friends rather than enemies. Sam Smith already has, and for that, I’m grateful.