Normally, the announcement of new children is a source of great joy. When folks proclaim they have added to their family, their friends, neighbors and sometimes random strangers ooh and ah as they celebrate the miracle of life.

Except if you’re gay, especially if you’re a gay man in a high profile position. Then the fangs come out.

Former Indiana mayor and presidential candidate Pete Buttigieg, currently the U.S. Secretary of Transportation, and his husband, Chasten, recently announced that they’ve adopted twins and showed a photo of the overjoyed parents holding the babies. That brought out the Neanderthals and antiques who are still clinging to the notion that the definition of a parent has to be two people where one has a penis and one has a vagina.

Take the comment from Lila Rose, an activist out to end abortions through her organization, Live Action. Her response to their Twitter post was “Where are the mothers? My heart goes out to those infants.”

The shade went international, too, as Manif Pour Tous, an anti-LGBTQ organization based in France, tweeted: “How can you not be scandalized by this photo? Not satisfied with taking these babies away from their mother just after childbirth, these two men also took her hospital bed… Think about these children who have been robbed of their mother forever.”

Interesting how this organization assumes that the two men waltzed into the hospital, snatched the kids, pushed the mother out of the bed and climbed in themselves to get yet another 15 minutes of fame. We don’t know the details of the adoption, and quite frankly, it’s none of our business unless something bad happens to the children.

The comment from Rose is especially ironic. She doesn’t want abortions to be legal, but she also assumes that every pregnant woman got to her glowing state right when she was ready to. If the mother is unable to care for the baby, what happens to the little bundle of joy as a result? Wait until there’s a heterosexual couple that can swoop in and give the infant a loving home?

That doesn’t always happen. According to the Kids Count data center through the Annie E. Casey Foundation, there are hundreds of thousands of children that are in foster care, a temporary living situation, and many of them are bounced from foster home to foster home until they turn 18, not getting the chance for a loving home.

According to the foundation, there were 18,560 children in the Buttigieges’ home state of Indiana in the foster care system as of 2018, the latest year where data’s available. In California, another 52,300 children are seeking a forever home, and in Texas, there are almost 33,900 children in the same situation.

So, according to Rose, we should be praying for Penelope Rose and Joseph August—the two infants that the Buttigieges are adopting—but to hell with all these other poor, unfortunate children who were supposed to be born into loving homes but wound up with horrible parents who neglected them or even gave them up to continue with drinking and drug habits.

Not every pregnancy occurs when a happily married couple decides they’re ready to have a legacy. Oftentimes, cheating husbands knock up their mistresses or cheating wives get impregnated by men they’re having affairs with. What about teens having sex without protection and getting pregnant as a result, many of them still trying to figure out their own lives and being ill-equipped to pass that on to a child?

When these children are born, they have to be cared for, and while it would be nice for a man-and-woman tag team to line up and say “Pass the little nipper over here,” that is far from reality. 

Look at the single parents. While you often see the single mom scenario, there are often single dads raising their children, too. Where are the mothers in these cases? Most of the fathers raising children in this scenario aren’t going to just marry the next available female that walks down the street and can’t afford to have a nanny that teaches the children values.

I have married gay friends who have adopted children, many of whom adopted the tykes when they were infants. It wasn’t an easy process, as many adoption agencies—and states—make it difficult or impossible for same-sex couples to adopt. However, these children are living happy and well-adjusted lives, despite no female adult being in the house full time. They have an extended family support system, which is the best anyone can hope for these children.

With the Buttigieges, you have two people ready to love the children from their birth until the fathers pass on. While Lila Rose and Manif Pour Tous try to narrowly define the parameters of love, the bottom line is that children need love, regardless of whether it’s a trickle or a flood. Instead of condemning parenthood, we should celebrate it and be happy that these babies are coming into the world with love.