Forgiveness is a process where victims undergo a change in feelings and attitude, letting go of vengeful feelings, ceasing resentment or anger. It’s a path to moving on, and it’s one that we all come to at different times.

To see the reaction to an act of forgiveness last week after a police officer was sentenced for killing one of her neighbors, it’s evident that we’ve become a less-than-sympathetic society these days.

Amber Guyger was sentenced in Dallas, Texas, to 10 years in prison after she walked into the wrong apartment at her complex, saw Botham Jean, a black man relaxing in his own home and shot him believing he was a trespasser in her home.

Because it was an act of white-killing-black, it provided plenty of outrage in the black community. When she was sentenced to 10 years instead of the 28 prosecutors sought, it provided more outrage, but in more ways than you think.

During the sentencing hearing, Brandt Jean, the 18-year-old brother of the slain man, had this to say: “I forgive you, and I know if you go to God and ask Him, He will forgive you. I’m speaking for myself, not even on behalf of my family, but I love you just like anyone else. I’m not going to say I hope you rot and die just like my brother did, but I personally want the best for you, and I wasn’t going to ever say this in front of my family and everyone — but I don’t even want you to go to jail.”

Then he did something no one expected. He asked to give Guyger a hug, and the judge agreed to it. For a lot of us, it’s a moment worthy of a Hallmark or Lifetime movie. For others, the sight of the victim’s brother showing forgiveness brought out the fangs of angry, bitter people, and enough venom was spewed to kill off a town the size of Belle Plaine.

Ironically, some of the venom-spewers proclaim to be Christians, and Christianity is supposed to be a faith that preaches forgiving those who harm you. Take Talbert Swan, a pastor and president for the National Association for the Advancement of Colored People, who accused Brandt Jean of having “post traumatic slavery syndrome” in a post on Twitter.

Swan went on to tweet: “When a Black bailiff combs Amber Guyger’s hair, Black judge hugs her and the victim’s Black brother declares forgiveness, it satisfies the demand that Blacks suffer phlegmatically so our pain neither offends wypipo’s sensibilities nor sparks their guilt or fragility. Disgusting.”

Methinks the pastor might want to find another line of work if he’s unable to preach compassion and forgiveness.

Of course, Swan wasn’t the only one refusing to turn the other cheek. Comedian D.L. Hughley tweeted: “I didn’t see one member of #AmberGuygers family asking for forgiveness from #BothamJeans family!”

When did various racial, ethnic, religious, political and social groups become such hateful forces? You see it in the black community, the Native American community, the LGBT community, Republicans, Democrats, Christians, Jews, Muslims. Instead of letting people be freethinkers, the group mindset lashes out for anyone who shows compassion in a time of injustice, love in a time of war, vulnerability in a time when we’re told we should harden ourselves.

I’m not cool with that, and it baffles me how anyone who professes to live by the word of God can claim a simple gesture like a hug is weakness, betrayal and the like. I found Brandt Jean’s action as a way of healing himself. He could have very easily said he wished Guyger was being executed instead of being sent to prison, that she should rot in hell, or that her actions are an indication of what all white people feel in their hearts.

Brandt Jean didn’t do that, though. He spoke up for himself. He figured out a way to move on with his life and not let Guyger haunt his every thought. We should be praising what he did, not condemning it.

I can’t recall seeing such outrage over a hug. Hugs are acts that we execute when we feel like, not when the group feels like they should be rationed out.

Hate is the easy way out, and we all know it. It’s easier to continue to find fault with people and let it paralyze you.

Brandt Jean is a better person than I. If I lost a loved one like Brandt Jean did, I don’t think I would be hugging the killer. I’m not even sure I’d be so ready to forgive the killer.

That’s me, though. My feelings are my own. My decisions are my own. When I’m ready to forgive someone, it’ll be my choice, and quite frankly, it’s nobody’s business when that timeline plays out.

It’s also nobody’s business when Brandt Jean shows forgiveness. Not mine. Not yours.

Forgiveness does not require a vote from the committee.